Movie Night

Tonight I got caught up on two big releases which I'd missed last May, Star Trek and Up. Both movies pretty much met my expectations, but that means two totally different things.

Let's start with the bad. The highest praise I can give the Star Trek reset is that it managed to avoid embarrassing itself as much as Nemesis did. The new cast did quite well at fitting into the established roles with slight twists on the formula. Sadly, that does not save the movie from a forgettable villain and plot holes wide enough to drive an aircraft carrier through.

First, let's look at Nero or more accurately we wish we could look at Nero. He gets so little screen time and so few lines throughout the movie, you scarcely have time to care. His menace is further harmed by being one of many tattooed Romulan's aboard a dimly lit, ill-constructed ship. I know it sounds racist (even for a made up race) to say "they all look the same to me," but given the makeup and lighting it's absolutely true. I honestly thought he died in the fight right after Kirk beamed aboard. Kirk even got a pithy one-liner for his finisher. Sadly, it was just some random, nameless minion. It certainly turned out to be a more dramatic struggle than Nero's actual end.

Now let's turn to the actual plot. The statute of limitations on spoilers is well over, but I'm warning you here anyway. I'm not generally one to nitpick macguffins. If you tell me that red matter can be used to create a black hole, fine. I'll go with it. What I won't accept is people, especially Spock, being stupid about it. Here's a quick list:

1. Roughly a teaspoon is required to create a black hole. Naturally, this means Spock brings a sphere of the stuff 1 meter in diameter. Why would anyone need that much short of triggering a Big Crunch?
2. A raving lunatic blames you for destroying his planet and swears revenge. He attacks you on sight. When confronted by this same maniac when exiting the time vortex carrying, Spock decides to surrender this sphere which clearly has enough power to destroy the known universe.
3. Spocks ship requires both facial recognition and voice print checking to allow access to all functions save one. That one? THE BLOODY SPHERE OF DEATH!

The stupidity isn't all wrapped up in red matter, though. There's plenty more where that came from. Off the top of my head, here are a few examples:

1. Anyone who trusts Kirk with anything more dangerous than string during the first half or so of the movie. Up until they arrive at Vulcan, the man's a certifiable menace.
2. The Vulcans, a species far more technologically advanced than the humans they call on for help, think there's a geological problem with their world. No one notices the giant mining laser from space or the massive ship firing it.
3. Rather than simply shoot the giant orbital drilling laser to stop it immediately, they decide to parachute down to the tiny platform just above the drill bit. As a result, they're too late and Vulcan goes boom. What's worse, on earth they do just shoot it so my initial plan wasn't even wrong.
4. As the planet implodes, Spock must beam down to save the Vulcan council since the room they're in prevents transporters from working. No one on the ship thinks that maybe calling and asking them to leave might be faster. None of the councilors standing in the little druidic circle think it wise to leave a collapsing cavern until Spock arrives to tell them to. Either of these could have easily prevented Amanda's death. Also, no one questions what Spock's human mother is doing as part of this Vulcan council despite the fantastic racism shown by all Vulcans save Sarek.
5. Nimoy's elder Spock convinces Kirk not to reveal him to his younger self to help their friendship start. Touching, but this also risks numerous inhabited worlds.
6. Ramming speed with Spock's future ship. It contains a) technology 120 years more advanced than this timeline and b) a magical black hole creator which we've seen launched in torpedo form. Couldn't we just shoot some at the bad guys, then go home and enjoy the super science? It's not like you were concerned about creating a black hole since you ended up detonating all of it with along with the ship! (Strangely, the resulting black hole seemed no bigger than one created by a teaspoon of the stuff.)
7. And of course the biggest, never in the 25 years Nero spends in the past does he think to actually warn Romulus of the eventual supernova which will consume their world if left unchecked.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Despite the excellent casting, the script really could have used more than a single draft.

Now on to better news! Pixar delights yet again with Up. It's got all the wit and charm you've come to expect from them. It's also very much in the spirit of an elderly Indiana Jones film.

The characters are extremely well developed, but if I had to pick a favorite it would be Doug. If you haven't seen the movie, Doug is a dog with a translating collar so he can talk. What makes him brilliant is that he still thinks exactly like a dog. Whether it's begging a giant bird to "please be my prisoner" while being dragged along or getting utterly distracted by "Squirrel!", he's just so honest, lovable, and above all dog! If you've ever owned one, you're going to enjoy him.

FInal thought, my brain makes some random connections. While watching, I couldn't quite make up my mind who Mr. Fredrickson sounded like more, J. Jonah Jameson of Spiderman: the Animated Series or Sgt. Mike Cosgrove of Freakzoid!. Certain mannerisms of both of them came out from time to time. Turns out, I was actually right on both counts! Go Ed Asner! He really does have a great voice.